Breastfeeding is a journey, and it’s a lot more complicated than I thought going into it. There were many things that I learned, and I wanted to share some of them with you, in case you didn’t know them, either.
Just a couple of tips before we dive in to the main 15:
- Get a nursing pillow! It will save your arms. And I would suggest to put a burp cloth/towel on it, in case your baby spits up or dribbles some milk.
- If you want to read while breastfeeding, a Kindle is honestly better than a book, just because it’s quieter, and it’s easy to read if it’s dark (for those late night nursing sessions). I love my Kindle and used it a lot when I was breastfeeding. I also figured out how to crochet and cross stitch while I breastfed and the nursing pillow helped with that since my hands were able to free.
- Always wear breastfeeding-friendly clothes. So, no dresses that can’t unbutton to get your boob out, otherwise you’ll be in the bathroom naked just to breastfeed lol!
- I reiterate this a few times below, always do what is right for you. Whether it’s breastfeeding covered up or uncovered, breastfeeding only or formula or a mix of the two, weaning before a year, at a year, after a year. Whatever it is, always be true to you and your baby.
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1. It takes a little while for your milk to come in.
If this is your first baby, it takes a little while for your milk to come in. It will come in faster for the next baby. But, luckily, newborns don’t eat a lot at first. They mostly sleep. What happens is that your breasts first produce colostrum, which is a clear-ish, sticky fluid that contains a lot of nutrients for a newborn. After several days, your milk will fully come in, so when you breastfeed your baby until then, they are getting the thick, good colostrum.
My milk took about a week or so to fully come in, and in that time we had to supplement with formula (see number 11).
Also, when your nurses say to hand-pump in between nursing, do it!!! I did not, and I wish I had. It’s supposed to help your milk come in faster, so maybe that’s why mine seemed to take a little longer.
2. The more a baby drinks, the more you produce.
My lactation specialist told me to pump in between nursing to tell my breasts to produce more milk, even after my milk came in. The female body is an amazing thing. The more that is needed, the more that is given. A foreshadowing of motherhood in general.
Breast milk can also be different throughout the day, depending on what your baby needs. Like, at night, it has higher melatonin levels to help your baby relax and sleep better, versus lower levels during the day. And if you and/or baby are sick, your breastmilk contains antibodies to help baby not get sick or fight sickness.
Basically, everything in us is meant to help our babies through anything.
3. It’s not supposed to “hurt.”
Make you sore? Yes. Hurt? No. My daughter’s latch was weird, and breastfeeding hurt. A lot. I had a lactation specialist come help us three separate times during my two days at the hospital. She said my daughter would “chomp” in-between sucking, and didn’t seem to pull my nipple all the way to the back of her mouth, but was keeping it more forward between her gums. This was extremely painful.
I ended up having to use a nipple cover for almost three to four months and it made it so much better. The cover encouraged her to take my nipple all the way back into her mouth, so that she drank the right way. Over time, she adjusted and I didn’t need the cover anymore.
4. Thrush.
I seriously had no idea what thrush was, until it happened. Madison didn’t seem irritated by it or have white legions in her mouth, but out of nowhere, breastfeeding was painful again, after things had gotten better.
We were prescribed anti-fungal medicine for Madison, an anti-fungal pill for me to take, and my amazing doctor had a separate pharmacy whip up some pain relieving medicine for my nipples, which was a serious lifesaver. At four months of breastfeeding, I almost threw in the towel, it was just so painful.
But we got through it and pressed on. And I was so glad because I wanted to keep breastfeeding her at least until she was a year (which I have done, and am working on weaning currently – see number 12).
Some tips to prevent thrush:
- Use dry, cotton nipple pads (they also help if your nipples are just sore by protecting you from friction from your bra).
- Make sure bottles and pacifiers are sterilized.
- When you finish nursing, squeeze some milk out and let it air dry on nipple (natural healing components in the breast milk).
- Let breasts air dry after nursing and shower.
5. Not every woman leaks.
You hear about it all the time and see it in movies and shows, so you expect it to happen to you, but it didn’t happen to me. I can’t recall ever leaking through my bra or shirt.
I used to wear breast pads all the time because I was worried I would leak through my shirt, but after I had been breastfeeding for a while, I finally realized that I don’t even leak! I did maybe a little at first, but after a short time, I didn’t anymore.
Some women produce more milk, and they are more likely to leak because they’re basically bursting at the seams, but I pretty much produced the exact right amount, even with a cluster-feeder.
6. Nursing bras are awesome, but you don’t absolutely NEED them.
My sister-in-law wore sports bras the whole time she was breastfeeding and would just pop out her boob to nurse, and then pop it back in. I’ve done this a few times and it works, but I personally preferred nursing bras.
If your pre-baby bras still fit, see if you can just keep using them, and save the money. But if not, I got these nursing bras. They were super comfortable and my pre-baby bras did not fit anymore, but I didn’t want to buy bigger bras until I’m done breastfeeding. I want to wait and see what my boobs do, whether they stay bigger or go back to what they were.
7. Get a pumping bra if you’ll be going back to work.
No one wants to hold their boobs for 10 plus minutes while pumping. Plus with a pumping bra, you can do something else, like play games on your phone, or write, (like me!). I would also watch Netflix and Hulu while I pumped, and I looked at it as my “me time.”
It’s nice that most pumping bras are also nursing bras. Double the use for your money. At this point, anywhere you can save means a lot.
You want to be sure the bra is snug enough to hold the pump in place against your breasts, so as to get the best suction. And you will want to have a new pump (most insurances will provide you with one for free).
Also, make sure you pump at night before you go to bed, just to get extra milk. As your baby grows, they will need more milk.
8. Do what you feel is right.
My daughter was a cluster-feeder for her first few months, so she’d want to nurse most of the day, and even at night (co-sleeping was a serious sleep saver!) and I had gotten advice to cut her off after a while if it seems like she’s just sucking.
So, I tried it, and she ended up just being super upset, which made me sad, so I did what I felt was right – I sat there and let her nurse as much as she wanted to.
Same goes for the opposite. If you can’t handle a nursing session being 45 minutes to an hour long, each and every time, then know when your baby has had enough (hands are no longer in fists, they aren’t swallowing, etc.) and stop nursing. Of course, be careful to be sure that they are getting enough. ALWAYS talk to their pediatrician about feeding concerns.
But don’t go against what you feel is right because of someone else’s opinion or because they did it differently. You do you, Mama. You know what’s best for your baby.
9. Enjoy this special bonding time while you have it.
Eventually, your baby will stop nursing. And even though you will enjoy the freedom again, there might be times that you’ll miss the days when they depended on you completely. When you watched them fall asleep in pure milk-drunk bliss, and held them close, praying they would stay asleep haha!
There would be times that I would just cry because I was tired of sitting in one spot on the couch for so long while she nursed, but then I would miss her when she slept for a couple of hours in her swing and wanted to be holding her and nursing her again. I knew that she wouldn’t be this little or dependent forever and won’t nurse forever, either, so I learned to enjoy our time together.
10. It’s okay to breastfeed longer than other moms.
It can be hard to do but don’t base your mothering and child-raising off of someone else’s. They did what was right for them, and you have to do what’s right for you and your baby. While it’s good to learn from other moms and get knowledge and helpful advice, don’t do what another mom did just because she did it that way.
When I got pregnant, I planned to stop breastfeeding when Madison was between six and eight months old. Then I learned that babies need breast milk or formula until they turn one, so I decided to breastfeed her for a year, and now, she is 15-months old and I am still breastfeeding and am trying to wean her (see number 12). I’m not sure when I’ll completely stop.
I can’t say when you should or shouldn’t breastfeed until; that isn’t for others to say for you. Do what feels right.
11. Formula is okay, too.
I think we’ve all heard of “breast is best,” but I love the newer one, “Fed is best.” Not all moms are able to breastfeed, for any number of reasons. And there are moms who just don’t like it, and that’s okay! Even though we are moms, our bodies are still ours, and we have a choice.
I had to supplement formula for my daughter at first, while my milk was coming in, and she would get frustrated because she was hungry and my let-down was taking longer than she wanted. So, her dad would give her formula and put her back to bed while I pumped (see number 2).
I’ve spoken to moms who have breastfed and say that it’s so much easier than using formula, and then I’ve spoken to moms who say that using formula is easier. It all depends on the mom and the baby.
12. Weaning is hard.
I tried to start weaning Madison when she turned one-year-old, and it seemed to backfire. She became extra clingy, and she started to wake up in the middle of the night again wanting to nurse. So, I backed off from the idea of weaning her at 12 months. And I honestly feel okay about it, and I know she’s happy with it.
There are moms who need to wean their babies because of their schedules, or to make things easier. One mom I spoke to said that her son would not nurse at all and would gag every time she tried to get him to, so she pumped every two hours for a whole year, so that he would have her breast milk in a bottle. She was more than ready to wean him off of breast milk at 12 months, and understandably so!
But look back at number 10, it’s okay to breastfeed longer than this. I’m hoping that the more she eats solids (she also has very particular tastes, and is only recently being willing to try new foods) that she’ll want to nurse less, but we will see. More to come on this in the future!
13. It is easy to feel like a failure.
Feeding your baby is the most important things you have to do. It’s a basic need, along with clothing them and changing their diapers. All of the other things come after that, like eye contact, talking to them, telling them you love them, making sure they have tummy time, etc. And when you can’t do something that is a simple basic need, you feel like you’re failing.
I remember being so frustrated in the hospital with breastfeeding hurting more than it was supposed to, and with my milk not being in, yet. The pediatrician’s office called to get information on Madison and the snarky nurse asked how often I breastfeed her. I told her that she’s only a day old, so I don’t have a schedule, yet, and that she eats when she eats. And she sounded so irritated and asked to just have an estimate of how often. So, I said “every three to four hours,” even though it wasn’t accurate, because we weren’t on a schedule, yet. She then told me to do it more. Every two to three is best.
I seriously wanted to find that woman and then punch her in the face until my milk came in, she made me feel worse than I already felt. I held back my tears and just let them all out once I hung the phone.
It’s hard to feel like we aren’t doing the right thing, or aren’t doing enough (here comes in mom guilt, right away), and that wasn’t the first time I was going to feel that way. It’s hard to just wait for things to happen, like milk coming in, or baby learning to breastfeed to where it doesn’t hurt, or for thrush to heal.
But, the important part, is that you get through it. And then you have encouraging words for other new moms who may be going through the same thing.
14. If you are having trouble, see a lactation specialist.
Not only did I see the specialist at the hospital three times, but I also went to a lactation specialist two times in the following weeks, to be sure Madison was eating enough. By the second visit, she was getting enough and my milk had come in, and the nipple covers were helping, so we were doing great by then, which was very encouraging.
If I hadn’t had their help, I wouldn’t have breastfed Madison, which I really wanted to do. I’m glad that I didn’t have any trouble asking them for help, and that they were so nice and encouraging. I am so grateful for the wonderful women who helped me in my new-mom journey.
15. Join a mom’s group.
No one told me this, and if they had told me, I honestly don’t think I would’ve gone. I don’t know if I’m a full-on introvert, but I definitely have tendencies of it and am very shy. But, now, I sorely regret not joining a group. Just to have other women possibly going through the exact same thing as me would have been so helpful, and the camaraderie would’ve been nice, too.
Join a group. Just do it. And if you don’t like it, don’t go back. but it could be the thing that helps you through the tough days of breastfeeding, baby blues, and whatever else comes at you.
Every new thing in life can be hard at first, but then you get your stride and it gets easier. And maybe it’ll get hard again and you’ll have some hurdles to get over, but then you do. And you feel great afterward, knowing that you did it.
Breastfeeding is not for everyone, and that’s fine, too! Formula was created to help moms and babies, whatever the reason.
Moms are truly blessed nowadays to have so much help available. I pray that you always reach out when you need help. Moms can be so stubborn in thinking that we need to just do everything ourselves. There is so much support and so many women who understand what you are going through. You are never alone.
As always, best of luck, Mama Bears! You got this!
Comment below with any surprising things you learned about breastfeeding, either from my list or from your own experience.
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