You don’t have to be a parent to know that the work/life balance is a doozy.
Being a parent just adds a little more (or a lot more) into the mix of things to balance.
I never felt like I needed more hands until becoming a mom. And more time in the day. And more room in my heart. But you make it happen, somehow, and you grow in every way possible. Our children really are our teachers.
Photo by Fernanda Publio from Burst
I was on maternity leave for six months, and I loved every minute of it. I went back to work the beginning of November 2018 and it was definitely a difficult adjustment, and I dreaded even the thought of going back the entire time I was on leave.
Luckily, Madison’s dad was able to take care of her when I was at work. Since Alan is a realtor, he can make his own schedule. So, she was still able to be at our home all day and nap in her crib.
Adjusting at work was tough, but after a few months, I got into the groove of it. Here is how my normal workday looks:
7:00 A.M. – Wake up with Madison. Nurse her and cuddle downstairs while we watch T.V.
8:00 A.M. – Alan comes down stairs to take care of Madison and I get ready for work.
8:30 A.M. – Mix up baby oatmeal with pureed apples for Alan to feed to Madison after I leave. Say “good-bye” and try to make my leaving as silly and happy as possible.
9:00 A.M. – 5:30 P.M. – Work. I have three 30-minute pumping breaks. Looking at pictures of Madison and watching videos I had taken of her helped a lot with let-down at first, and after awhile I didn’t need to look at her pictures and videos, but still do just out of my own comfort! Alan will also send me lots of pictures of her and videos of her throughout the day and give me little updates, which helps make me feel included still.
6:00 P.M. – Get home and scoop Madison up in my arms! Nurse her if she wanted, and play with her until bath time.
6:20 P.M. – Bath time, then lotion and pajamas. Read her favorite books.
6:45 – 7:15 P.M. – Nurse Madison and put her to bed.
10:00 P.M. – Shower and go to bed. Showering at night has always been my favorite, because I hate waking up earlier than I absolutely need to, and now I like it because it doesn’t take away time from Madison.
Two days a week, I can work from home, which means I am able to nurse Madison before her second nap and feed her lunch when I go on lunch. I love getting an extra 30 minutes with her in the morning and at night.
On weekends, her wake time, naps and bed time are the same, but I spend the entire day with her. On occasion, I will get away and get a manicure/pedicure or go to a craft store by myself, but I mostly want to soak up as much Madison that I can! Sometimes, Alan and I will take Madison to the zoo or aquarium and have a family fun day. And on Sundays, we have dinner at Alan’s parent’s house and Madison loves to squeal at her cousins and play with her uncle and grandparents.
I feel that anything you have to balance takes time to get right. I also know that life is constantly changing, especially with a baby, so when you feel you have it balanced, it changes again and you have to find your new balance, and then change comes around again and again.
We are constantly adjusting. I try not to stress TOO much if things seem a little off-balance. “Me-time” for example, has been very little, but having a baby requires my full attention, and now that she is getting older, I’m able to get away a little more if I need to. She was a cluster-feeder at first, so I nursed her almost the whole day every day for the first few months of her life, when she wasn’t sleeping, so there was no balance there at all, but it changed after a while because she started playing more and being interested in other things besides nursing and her tummy got bigger so she could go longer between nursing. And then work was a new balancing act.
All-in-all, you have to make do with what you have until things change again. They will seem perfect at times, and not right at other times, but you just have to make it through the hard times and try to find balance where you can.
I know some moms who don’t have a mid-shift like me, so they either have time in the morning with their babe, or time at night, and sometimes it switches off. And their babies are okay with that, too. They learn to adjust, just like we do, and as long as they are getting enough sleep and food and love, they will be perfectly fine, whether you are the one doing it, or dad, or grandma, or daycare.
I find that the balance is making sure that when I am with Madison, she feels all of my love. As stated in my prior post, Back to Work, make the time you have with your children matter and it will make all the difference, and children will naturally remember the good times with you when you’re home, than the times when you’re away.
P.S. I am currently transitioning to fully working from home, so I will be posting an updated work/life balance schedule soon! See? Another change, and I have to find my balance again.
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