Mamas really do it all. And we try harder and harder all the time, taking on more and more things.
And then we get overwhelmed and nothing goes right.
We end up learning the hard way that if you don’t take time to recuperate, it will affect every area of your life.
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Welcome to The Mom Club
I recently transitioned to being a work at home mom (WAHM) and I’m realizing how many things there are that need to get done. Not just my writing work, but taking care of my daughter, cleaning the house, going shopping, cooking, etc.
And honestly, it overwhelmed me.
With work, there are new things that have been popping up that I need to do. I tried to do them all at once but it was too much and ended up taking me away from writing, which was the very reason WHY I wanted to do this in the first place.
I’m a writer, yet everything else was getting in the way. Something needed to change so that I could get back to my roots of why I was doing this.
Madison is just about to turn one (OMG!) and requires all of my attention and has had a little separation anxiety lately. I have my desk in the living room on the other side of her play area so she can still see me when I work, but that’s not always good enough for her.
I am working on getting her used to me not being in there with her all the time by sitting at my desk for short periods of time and then I will increase the time bit by bit.
I also started organizing my home.
To say the least, my plate was very full, and I tackled everything all at once.
There’s so much that goes into every part of life, and putting those parts altogether takes time to adjust. Any new thing that we do needs time. Things will be a little out-of-whack for a while until you figure out what needs to be done and how.
I’ve referenced this before, but my mom explains life like a pendulum, always going from one extreme to the opposite extreme until you find your balance.
My first extreme was overworking and trying to do everything all at once, including figuring out things to my writing business. Whereas I needed to take my time and learn each thing one-by-one.
So, I took a few days off to not write and not work on my business. I would even stop myself from thinking about it. This was the other end of my pendulum that I had to swing to, to gain my peace of mind back.
I started crocheting an elephant amigurumi for my daughter and just hung out with her and watched T.V. I was able to just breathe again. And it was so nice.
Then…came inspiration to write again!
Taking that little bit of time off helped me come back to me.
The lesson from this experience is that even though are always important things to do, none of it will get done if I try to do them all at once. And nothing will get done if I wear myself out.
I want to be sure that my daughter is always my first priority. Everything else will come after, which scheduling my time is a must. Including time to relax in there, too.
So, what did I do?
1. I made a list of everything that needs to be done, with room at the bottom for when additional things pop up, which happens a lot in the blogging world.
3. I then prioritized that list, writing being number one. No matter what, I need to be sure that I am writing.
3. Made a schedule for every day of the week, allowing time for my daughter, writing, cleaning and cooking. And also time for me.
4. Brainstormed ways that I get inspiration. Ie. sitting on my front porch in the morning when Madison naps, lighting a candle, sipping on my coffee, playing with my animals, watching my favorite movie, etc. Doing what you love can inspire you most.
5. Wrote down my goals.
Ironically, most of what I did included writing. When you go back to the basics, you find yourself.
When life is overwhelming, always simplify. Cut out what doesn’t belong. Take a break. Realize that even though you have a lot to do, sometimes you NEED to put it off, even just for a day, or a few hours, or even one hour. You may feel like taking a break will delay you, but if you are so overworked that you can’t think straight, you will delay yourself even more.
No matter what, peace of mind is most important.
Don’t burn yourself out trying to do it all at once. Take your time. Teach yourself patience. Write down what you need to do, step-by-step. Take a deep breath.
Then you will feel refreshed, with the courage and confidence to climb your mountain.
Sometimes stopping will let things come to you.
I hope you will be sure to take enough time to relax and center yourself, so that you can be the best you and do your best at all of the many things you have to do.
Much love and good luck, Mama Bears!
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Great tips! I’ve been a mom for 28 years and just became a grandma last week. My daughter was feeling a little overwhelmed yesterday and I gave her a lot of the same advice. There’s not always going to be a perfect balance. Prioritize and give yourself grace.😊
Yes, grace is so important! I’m glad you were able to help your daughter out and congratulations on becoming a grandmother!
I have totally been there as well. I am a mom of 2 and now it’s harder than ever to find time for myself. But the truth is that it’s crucial because we want to be our best for our kids and family. I’ve tried having half hour or an hour of actual play with my kids useful. I set a timer and no matter what, I just play with them. No dishes, no phone etc. This works great with making time for yourself as well. Maybe I won’t get it done every day but at least once or twice a week.
I love the timer idea! Following a set schedule is so good, and it’s comforting to the children that they know they get your undivided attention for that time, knowing that their moms still have to work and do chores, so they won’t get all of your attention all of the time, but it makes that time special for them.
Burnout is so common these days because we feel pressure to be everything to everyone. I’ve experienced the same as you–I tried to do it all, but I have a young daughter too (her name is Madison too =D) and taking care of her and the house and the business is just so much. I’ve learned to just take some rest times. Get outside, push her around in the stroller, and breathe. There are times when I slot in work and house stuff and I push myself to get things done, but we all need room to rest too!
Haha how funny! It’s a great name 🙂 I do the same thing, getting out to go for a walk helps so much, and she loves it, too! Even with so much to do, finding the time to take a deep breath of fresh air does the soul a lot of good.
I love this article! As a working from home mom myself who is still relatively new to both momming and working from home, I often find myself so overwhelmed by the tasks ahead that I literally can’t move! I just want to curl up and hide! I love the idea of making a priorities list and taking those short breaks for inspiration. Definitely going to try these.
I’m glad it was able to speak to you! It really is overwhelming, but I’m comforted with the thought that everything takes time to adjust to, and soon we’ll be pros at this stay-at-home, work-at-home mom stuff.
This is SO true! Self-care should be a priority for us moms! Having a morning routine and planning my days was a game changer for me as a new mom! Thank you for sharing your tips!
Yes! Having a routine makes all the difference, so you know what’s coming and can feel secure in a schedule of sorts, even if it doesn’t always work out the way you want it every day, it’s still good to have a basic outline of how your day will go.
Beautiful poignant thoughts I will keep in mind for when I become a mom. Thank you so much for being transparent and your love for writing and skill at it really shows through! Looking forward to reading your future articles 😊
I appreciate that so much, Stacy! I am glad you enjoyed the read, and I hope you are able to get every tip you can for when you become a mom!
This is an excellent post!
Working from home and being a mom can be SO overwhelming and I believe, writing down goals helps.
Taking at least an hour off each day and at least one day off a week helps me stay sane. Great tips in this post and thank you for sharing
That’s a great tip, too! Making sure you have a good break each day and each week to not think about work is very important. Thank you for sharing that!